Archive for June, 2009

• Get Over It!

   

  

  enough!

  So let me disclaim something about this Dooce Pinchin:  I just can’t do it daily.  It is just NOT going to happen for two reasons: 1.) RM2 is worse at it than I am because she has less tolerance for reading Dooce  2.) I have to actually read it and that is also a problem.  It is hard to get through but at the same time it boggles my mind that there are people out there who actually relate to her life.  I know a TON of moms.  I mean I am surrounded with moms and I don’t know even one who has a life even remotely near that of Heather B.  Now I realize that maybe I’m “special” but I also don’t surround myself with people who are just like me. I guess none of my friends are actually in that much therapy.

  That being said here we go!

  Ok so the latest psychological drama is her poor darling first born has now been robbed of her only child status.  I do believe the phrase was “betrayed”..really? Betrayed? It’s that serious?

  Here is my take on the whole thing, as a mother of FOUR- not TWO count them FOUR- and as a mother who has 8 years spanning the birth between her first and second born- let me give Dooce some much needed advice:

  GET OVER IT!!!!!

  When Greenpeace was born  Princess was 8 and had not only been an only-child all those years she also was an only-grandchild and pretty much the entire world revolved around her.  Then Greenpeace was born and all that was tossed out the door. Did I feel that I “betrayed”her? Ummmm… NO.  Did she feel a little put out that she was not the only child anymore? Duh.  Does she toss it in my face for dramatic effect upon occasion when she stomps her giant teenage feet? Of course, what teenager wouldn’t?  Ask me if I care? Ha ha you already know the answer to that!  

   Spawn of Dooce (SoD) is having an issue because Dooce is having an issue.  Perhaps if SoD didn’t get shipped off to “Grandmommy’s” house (yes she really referred to her as that and that is a Pinch for another day!) for an entire week and come home to a new roommate and tightly wound mom she would have adjusted a little better to her new partner in crime moving in.  I have had four kids and not one of my kids was shipped off anywhere just because I was giving birth. In fact, Princess has witnessed the beauty (in all its drug-free screaming glory) of birth all three times (excellent lesson in birth control for your teen or preteen by the way!).  Wylde was born at home and Greenpeace slept through the whole screamfest that was taking place 12 feet away from him then woke up to a new brother.  Honestly, he was far more interested in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle marathon that was scheduled for that morning on Cartoon Network than the new baby. Thirteen months later the Zen Master was home getting poked in the nose by Wylde within 6 hours of taking his first breath.   

  

  So what if Laura wanted to push Mary out of the back of that wagon!

  Seriously people! Women give birth in damn fields and finish off their harvest that same afternoon! Children all over the world have a half dozen or more siblings as a normal part of culture.  Since when did giving your kid someone to bitch about mom with later on down the road become a “betrayal”?  I mean Laura Ingalls griped about Mary all the time but that was because Mary was a stuck up bitch, not because she was alive! If Laura didn’t have Mary to complain about then we would have only had one Little House in the Prairie book and Micheal Landon would have been out of a job after one season.  Being an only child is not the global norm, in fact most households really do have 2.5 kids (its true!).  

  So Heather you need to get over it so your kid will get over it.  If having another kid is really a betrayal then you need to quit saving for her college fund and start saving for her therapy fund!

  Siblings serve a purpose. Actually they serve many purposes.  Without siblings how do you learn to manipulate anyone? Who do you blame stuff on? Who do you have to complain about your parents to? Who helps take care of mom when she is old and a real bitch? You need to be able to call someone and say “hey it’s your turn to take mom!” When you have several siblings you get to have the “crazy” one, the “smart” one, the one “mom loves best”, the “loser” one, the “goody” one, the “gay” one and so forth. I really don’t believe that any of those Duggar kids are lined up for therapy sessions because mom could produce faster than the prize winning rabbit at the county fair.

  All that being said is it really some sort of “betrayal” to have another kid?

  If I am going to promise my kid chocolate ice cream for breakfast it is going to be because I want some too damn it! Not because I gave you a sibling.

  Oh yeah and by the way………..I’m an only child!  So there!

   

  ~RM1

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  2009.06.30 / 2 responses / Category: Pinchin' a Dooce- When the urge to purge strikes!

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