Archive for October, 2009

• My Buddy or Ode to My Nightgown

  It’s no secret that I’m in love with pajamas. My nightgown and I have a special bond. She’s an old slutty thing, with hard earned and well deserved rips, tears and stains. Even the Daddy-O loves her. My silky, polka-dot Target brand spaghetti strapper and I go on lots of special adventures together. For no other reason than I have nothing more interesting to write about, I’m dedicating today to my little buddy, Miss Nighty.

  Places I’ve Worn My Nightgown (other than the grocery store)

  
  *Our favorite place to spend the day together is at the local dive bar, where we have breakfast every once in a while. Occasionally we’ll up the star rating to 1 and have breakfast, together with the fam, at the greasy spoon down the street. We’re kind of like a club, us mom-chicks in pj’s. I love that I’m not the only customer in a nightgown picking roach legs out of my biscuits and gravy.

  *Like most moms I know, picking up kids at school in pajamas is de rigueur (look it up bitch). I still don’t understand why some parents don’t talk to me though; it’s only 3pm so what’s the big deal? It’s not like I had time to get dressed or anything.

  *I always wear pajamas to work. Okay so what, I “work” from home. But I would occasionally wear pajamas to my real work back when I had an actual factual paying job, a few years ago when I had my own office, an assistant and a company credit card or two. Some of my dresses were sluttier than Miss Nighty so what’s the big dealio schmealio?

  *One time the Daddy-O dared me to picked up dinner from our small town Chinese resto wearing my little lacy friend. Ah-so, I can’t refuse a dare. Of course I did it but I snuck, sneaked, whatever on a pair of pants and my sons jacket, both conveniently left in the mamma van. Sometimes my life works.

  *A friend of mine does a lot of fundraising for Save the Boobies and in support of her, I very appropriately wore my cleavage loving sleepwear to a prestigious event she hosted. It was very effective, as a man came up to me and said “If I had boobs like yours, I’d wear that nightgown every day.” Let’s just say she made a lot of money that day.

  *Sometimes at fancy schmancy events I think that every woman I see is wearing nothing but lingerie, so when I attended the latest, very exclusive VIP  film festival party, guess who came with me? She loved it. We had a wonderful time together, my buddy and me. At least it wasn’t prom, like one woman apparently mistook the event for. My clingy little rayon was way more appropriate than her taffeta and pearls. Sheesh, some people!

  *I’d have to say that of all of our adventures together, our Rockstar Action Adventure Kit Special was my favorite. I may reveal my secret identity by saying this, but playing drums on stage at Satyricon in Portland while wearing my security nightgown is the absolute, most ass-kicking gawd damn thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m saying that even though I HATE when people say shit like that.

  Oh, and I even wore Miss Nighty to bed once or twice.

  With love,
  RM2

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  2009.10.30 / 3 responses / Category: Daily Confession

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• Mommy Wants Vodka
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