Lesbians Are Lucky

Lesbians Are Lucky

Lesbians are the luckiest people on earth and if they are lesbian moms they are even luckier.

The other day RM2 and I were “working” and we both had equally annoying days with the penis’ that reside in our domiciles and let’s face it between our two houses our vaginas are very outnumbered. We had this discussion about how much we wished we were attracted to women. It would just be so much easier. I have also had this discussion with my friend Lucy and we wish so much we were attracted to each other because we have almost 20 years invested in our “relationship” and we have totally worked out all the kinks and created a wonderful functional dysfunction. Why oh why can’t we be Lucy & Ethel lesbians? We would be such a power couple!

Alas it is not meant to be because damn it all to hell we are just not into chicks. Fuck. I have sat and put some thought into this theory of mine and here is why I think it would be so much better to be a lesbian:

1.) Women have common sense and they use it.

2.) When you ask a woman to do something they actually do it when you ask. They don’t wait until after the Fantasy Football Superbowl. They don’t get the stuff out to do it and then let it sit there for a month while they “think about how to do it” while you trip over all their tool shit. They don’t wait until you get so frustrated you have to go just fix the shit yourself and then get annoyed like you are steppin’ into their territory.

3.) When they talk to you (especially in an argument) then make actual sense and follow some logic.

4.) When you ask how something looks they actually look and tell you the real answer instead of mumbling something about it being fine.

5.) Women don’t shrink your bras.

I have discussed this theory of mine with Princess’ lesbian Godmothers and one of them tossed a whole monkey wrench into my theory and kinda rained on my parade. Lesbians are women which means two women who spend a lot of time together who, as a result, get their period at the same time creating mass bitchy drama. I can totally deal with that and I even have a solution! The answer is so simple: two pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Duh.

So I am sticking to my hypothesis: Lesbians are fucking lucky and I wish I was one.

~RM1
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Category: Daily Confession | Tags: RM1

9 Responses to “Lesbians Are Lucky”

Lucy 09/11/05 11:54

OMG, RM1! I love it. Yeah, I’ve always said that if you were a dude I’d marry you. Too bad I’m not into chicks that way, we would (do) make such a great couple!
submom 09/11/05 23:06

OMG. I love this post! I totally thought about that too! But with respect to my gay friends I tried not to romanticize their situations. I do wonder though what it is like in a lesbian household, esp. ones with children, with chore division. Do they share equally? Will one of them bitch, “Well, if you need the house to be clean, then you should be the one to do it!” “I mow the lawn. If you want me to help with the dishes, why don’t you go mow the lawn. Or fix the goddamn yourself.” Growing up in all girls’ high schools and being tall and boyishly good-looking (i.e. good looking as if I were male), I was revered and fawned over. Like in a manga. Good days. Again, not to trivialize the shit gay people have to put up with in this world, I have wondered what it would be like if I were gay.
really? 09/11/06 07:35

wow – that was just stupid! Hope you are using this forum to work on your writing skills! They are lacking….
renegademoms 09/11/06 09:11

This post was not meant in any way to trivialize the crap that gay folks and their families and children have to deal with at all. In fact I even talked about this post and my thoughts with some gay friends of mine (both male and female) who are in long term relationships, some had children and some do not. I knew that it would ruffle feathers and there will alway be people who interpret it in a manner that it was not intended. The truth is that men and women relate differently. They communicate differently. Yeah ALL couples deal with shit and they all get irked with eachother and some shit has nothing to do with gender, it is just two people trying to learn to live their lives together. Oh and yeah they do tell eachother all the time to “fix that shit yourself!” just like we lame ass straight couples do. However, after the conversations I had with my friends, in particular my daughter’s godmothers the truth is that women DO communicate better with eachother and for that I am envious. They have been together for 20+ years and they have definitely been through some BIG relationship shit together but when all is said and done they worked it out and they had the patience and understanding to do so. I am sure much of it has to do with them as people, but I personally have observed that the fact that they are two women has something to do with it. I also chose them as her godparents because they are the ONLY couple in my life that I KNOW would never split up, would always work it out and could demonstrate for Princess what a healthy loving relationship looks like.

So that being said, I am jealous. I wish I was that lucky! Instead I get to beat my head against the wall that I call my husband.
~RM1

PS: They thought it was funny so everybody lighten up! The world is too serious.
renegademoms 09/11/06 09:12

Thanks! come back soon!
xox
~RM1
Danirae 09/11/06 11:26

We actually had this discussion one time in my feminist theory class. There was a professional research paper written by a sociologist that posed a question about female relationships. The paper went on to say that we females have very different relationships with other females than men do with other males and that we should all be lesbians. Now, granted, that author was also questioning the term lesbian and using to talk about all female relationships, sexual and non-sexual in nature. What her conclusion came to be is that we females have much different and more intimate relationships with other females (not talking about sexual relationships, but relationships in general)and a great deal of that comes in how we communicate with each other.

In some research I did for another class in my quest for my degree, I did a lot of digging for information on the female brain. In this research, I came upon many studies that have proved that in fact, women do communicate better than their male counterparts because in fact, the female portion of the brain that is responsible for communication is more than double the size that that same part of the brain in men. It’s a scientific fact that women are better communicators than men, which I think ultimately was the point of this point in the first place. Thanks for listening to my ramble!
renegademoms 09/11/06 11:33

Thank you Danirae! You totally got my point!!
Danirae 09/11/06 12:44

Here some of your readers need to watch this. It may make your point a little more clear-er:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW3jn3vOiMM
Lady Of The House 09/11/07 12:48

See I just wish I was a guy so I could bang you senseless.

Lesbians are the luckiest people on earth and if they are lesbian moms they are even luckier.

9 Responses to “Lesbians Are Lucky”

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