“Funnest” Free Ever

Yeah “funnest” is a word! Green says so.

Time for some Free Fun Friday.  Who the hell doesn’t love some free fun? Normally its fun free stuff to do with your kids but we are taking a turn in a different direction today and  today it’s all about you Mom.  You damn Renegade!

Today’s Free Fun Friday is……….SILENCE.  Yep.  Silence is so god damn fun.

You never realize the value in silence until you have little birds chirping at you twenty-four-freakin-seven.  You never think that silence can be the most fun you have ever had until you have got without silence for 15 years.  I have come to find the value in silence and so I am recommending it to each of you. I actually have fantasies about silence.  I dream about silence more than I dream about winning the Lotto.  To me silence is the Lotto prize.  

Ways you can obtain silence for free (or almost free):

• Leave them with the other parent and say your working, taking care of your sick grandma, volunteering at the hospital or any other legit-excuse.
• Call grandma. 
• Drop them off at daycare and then call in sick to your job.  Make sure you have the shits and uncontrollable puking – no one will ask you to come in anyway with that kind of TMI
• Go to the grocery store alone to pick up a few things and then stay for two hours.  Go to one that has a Starbucks and meander aimlessly up and down the aisles with a mocha.
• Trade with another silence deprived parent.
• Ask for silence for your birthday.  Leave no other gift option other than the gift of silence then they have no choice but to give it to you.

The last option is my favorite.  I have actually already implemented it for May 2010.  I know that sounds insane and many of you are thinking “that’s so far off why wait?” but here is the beauty in this plan: You implement all of the above and stagger them! The birthday one you must make a fat one, ask for 24-72 hours of silence then go away…far! This year for my birthday I am going camping with RM2 and Lucy overnight to the river where our cell phones don’t work.  There is an office at the camp site they can call for an emergency.  The great thing is they can’t call the office to have some old dude ride out to our site on a quad to tell me that Green is in Princess’ room and he is farting on purpose.  Sounds like a little piece of heaven huh?  We are going to eat crap food, lay around, not shower and just sit in pure unadulterated silence.

There ya go! Take this post and make it your own little checklist.  Go enjoy some silence, even if you have to lie and manipulate to get it.

~RM1