A Bitch Can Dream Right?

Since having my fourth child something has been happening that slightly disturbs me.  I fantasize and not good naked ones involving Taye Diggs like I used to; no my new fantasies involve a Winnebago. I  literally have dreams about Winnebagos.  When I see old people in the big giant house kind on the highway I get jealous.  

 Why in the world would I dream about a giant house on wheels rather than a naked Taye Diggs? Well, the reason is a simple one: tired mom insanity has set in.  The truth is my Winnebago is my retirement plan and I think this plan has been put in the works not by having a fourth child but by having my first teenager.  I have suddenly realized a scary prospect….what if they don’t move out?  What if they stay for a really long time? That is scary.  Truly.

 Thus I give you the solution: a really nice Winnebago.  A house on wheels that is not big enough for any of your adult children. 

Someday when all our kids grow up Renegade Dad and I are going to sell everything we own and buy a house on wheels and spend the rest of our days (or at least until they take our drivers license away) in our Winnebago.  We are going to spend winter in Mexico and the rest of the year everywhere else.  No one can move back home because they won’t know where “home” is.  We are going to be like those other cool old people and have a pop-out porch and travel recliners.  We will sleep in every day, lay around and watch the day go by… in silence. We will visit for the holidays and then drive away alone.  We will camp in every camp ground on the continent and I will spend every waking moment on my laptop without guilt.  We have already started fantasy shopping for one.  We look at pictures of them on the internet and argue about which one we will get as if we are buying one next week.

This my retirement plan and while my fourth child has yet to even celebrate his first birthday I dream of this time in my life.  I guess it took having a teenager to wake me up and make me think about what kind of old person I want to be.  I want to be old and not give a fuck.  I want to drive 25 mph on the freeway and piss off everyone behind me.  I want to cuss in public just to see the look on younger people’s faces when they see my gray-haired-saggy-boob-self say  ”fuck”.

 I want a fancy Winnebago.  Winnebago’s are fucking cool!  I want to say that when I’m old, especially the “fuck” part.

~RM1