Don’t say “Dooce” in Front of the Baby!!!!

Just for gags we search the word dooce on twitter  to keep up with the insanity.  We used to actually look at the shit on Dooce waaaaaay back when (okay fine RM2 made RM1 do it for her) and then we just couldn’t stomach it anymore.  Luckily, anything you want to know (or dont want to know) about the idiot and her pussy husband you can find out just by typing in the word shit er.. I mean dooce into the twitter search bar.  

With the holidays approaching and the pounds just waiting to get packed on we thought we would inflict ourselves with a little Dooce Ipecac to make room for the turkey and fixin’s.  However, we had no idea today’s find would make THAT much room!  Our bellies are now so empty that we are wondering if Paula Deen has a recipe for deep frying a horse?  

Since we really want to keep our food down tomorrow can you please tell us that mental case did not get her panties in a wad because Pussy Jon said the word shit in front of her baby. Please. Seriously.

As far as we are concerned the only word one should never say in front of children is Dooce.

Oh and while we are at it….just because we”re already here…. 

1. Boo Fuckin’ Hoo your fish died. Are people really praying for your fish? If so you need to make a donation in your fish’s name to PETA.

2. Was the hair pulling comment REALLY so funny that it needed to be re-tweeted 5 MILLION FUCKING TIMES? It was like a not-funny-bumper-sticker from WalMart on the back of a redneck pick-up truck (no offense Redneck Mommy cuz we like your kinda redneck, it’s funny!)

3. Okay, neutering Jon. Good job. Brilliant move, but seriously you were really not actually freaking out about bad memories of giving birth in a hospital. Come on, please tell us we misunderstood those re-tweets and something was lost in translation.  If you thought giving birth there was bad how do you think Jon felt about giving balls there? There is NOTHING bad about going to the place you had a NORMAL HEALTHY birth at. If this were true RM1 wouldn’t be able to sleep in her own bed and RM2 wouldn’t drag her boys back to the hospital room of their birth (kicking and screaming) to visit the treasured room they were born in.  Get the Fuck OVER it already.  It was birth. We get it, we have both done it seven times between the two of us and yeah it hurts. So?

4. Finally, this is to your fans: Do you REALLY think Dooce doesn’t know how to google “banana bread recipe” or there is something sooooo special about your recipe that she is actually going to read AND make it? Really? Please for the love of god, goddess, universe, satan whatever you worship that is not Dooce stop re-tweeting her every fucking fart. No wonder twitter keeps shoving the fucking whale onto our monitors; you’re clogging up the works. Cut it out.  Just because you RT Heather doesn’t mean she notices you, gives a shit or will ever be your BFF.

~The Renegade Moms