No Bullshit Before Coffee

There is nothing quite like waking up to your almost 7 year old having a toddler tantrum.  As you all well know I don’t get up and get Green ready for school, ReneDad does that job.  It’s a more than fair trade for me being up all fucking night with Zen glued to my boob and treating my nipples like the The Hometown Buffet.  However, this morning I woke up to ReneDad and Green arguing about god damn Pajama Day at school.  Fuck.  First of all it is POURING down rain, second of all they put this whole Pajama Day shit in little print inside of a bunch of other shit they sent home from school last week so I didn’t see it.  I mean come on, if anyone were going to be a big supporter of being in your pajamas all day its me for fucks sake.  However, could you tell us in an actual flyer not one sentence in the middle of some boring shit no one reads? As a result I didn’t do laundry with this shit in mind and all his damn pajama’s were dirty.  Thus leading to my too-tall-gonna-be-7-in-May kid kicking and screaming about getting dressed at 7 am in the fucking morning.  Oh and what stoopid idiot at the school decided to do Pajama Day in the middle of winter?! 

Now ReneDad is irritated and pissed and I have had no damn coffee and I feel like shit.  I am standing there trying to explain to Green why this shit wont work and he is just screaming and now I’m pissed because damn it all to hell I haven’t had any coffee and my period just fucking started last night.  I had to wrestle his clothes on to him because we did not have time for this shit this morning since ReneDad had to be at an important meeting as soon as he dropped Green off, not to mention I want both of them out of my fucking house so I can have some peace.  As I drag Green to the bathroom to get his teeth brushed all of the sudden I start hemorrhaging all over MY PAJAMAS and now I am a mess.  The Dog is also farting (because it is raining that for some reason that makes dogs fart) and making me want to barf and all around my morning is total shit.  I finally got them out of the house and went to pour my first cup of coffee and find out I am out of my fancy creamer.  Wylde is awake now screaming for juice and Zen is screaming for boob and I just want a beautiful Red Tent.

A Red Tent that is all that I want.  I want my own space to go to when my period comes with a fridge, a huge fluffy bed, cable, remote, coffee with fancy cream, PAJAMAS and most of all…..silence.  Uninterrupted silence.  I dont want to hear the words “mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom” and I don’t want to answer any questions.  I don’t want any tantrums, drama or other shit people can go figure out themselves.  I want to be left the fuck alone to bleed to death and eat myself into oblivion.  Is that too much to ask for?  I don’t think so. 

Oh yeah and it’s No Cussing Week in California so ummmmm….. yeah… Fuck you.

~RM1