My dog is a spaz with great karma

All my life I have managed to be the proud owner of whatever rejected psychologically damaged freak of nature pet that the rest of sane society shuns.  I have always had this fantasy of being one of those really cool hip people that has the dog that can walk without a leash, obeys every command and sits outside the cafe patiently waiting for its master to finish that double non-fat latte.  Sadly, this has remained just that: a fantasy.

Instead I am the proud owner of the dumbest canine that ever walked the planet earth.  Sweet yes.  Sharpest tool in the tool shed? No.

Today’s example of canine stupidity involved The Dog coming to the illogical conclusion that she could fit her  70 pound body through a 3-4 inch opening in the window.  Our windows are these marvelous 1950’s glass slats that open in this horizontal blind fashion.  Very retro and one of my favorite parts of our house.

While having a meeting with my other blogging half I soon discovered The Dog was out roaming free.  Upon returning her to the domicile I discovered broken jagged glass all around the inside and outside of the window.  Yes, she pushed all 70 pounds through what used to be a 3-4 inch opening shattering three glass slats and somehow miraculously avoiding so much as a scratch.

See this the thing about The Dog: she always manages to escape her stupid doings harm free.  Damage free? No! Harm free? Always!  Its an odd phenomenon.  She never gets hurt and it is NOT because she is intelligent; I am convinced that The Dog has the most amazing karma ever bestowed on the canine species.  However, I freely admit she has earned this karma.  She has spent the last 11 years having her tail and ears pulled, being dressed up in baby clothes, eating all unwanted veggies under the table and even providing her own very sweet version of midwifery during the labor and birth of Wylde.

I may never get that fantasy leash-free dog in sitting patiently in front of the cafe but I would bet the bank if she were to tell the tale I am not that fantasy master sitting in the cafe sipping that double non-fat latte either.

~RM1