• Meet the Moms

    There really is two of us. We're not Sybil.

    There really are two of us. We're not Sybil.

    Renegade Mom 2 is the mother of three creatures sporting a penis.

    She’d like to say she has three kids, but since two of them are adults in the eyes of the law (that’s NOT to say they are adults like the mature, responsible grown-ups that we all are but more like if her 18-year old has sex with his girlfriend he could get arrested for child molestation, and her 20-year old will soon be able to buy the beer he’s already buying but without the risk of bringing down a long established liquor store in town), they aren’t really kids.

    She could say she’s given birth to three wonderful human beings, but there is little evidence that the bodies she squeezed out during the three worst experiences of her life contain any homo-sapien DNA. Some early genetics testing did reveal something experts are calling a Canis-Alien-Disney mix (with a dash of David Bowie in one case) but when researchers threw up their hands in disgust, all testing was brought to a sad and abrupt ending, leaving the creature’s identities a mystery.

    Yes, it would be easier to just say she’s the mother of three boys, but since one of them is inclined to call himself Emily and wear pink shoes… well, “boys” might not be entirely accurate…

    I’m too lazy to write any more.

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    Renegade Mom 1 is the bearer of 4 contributions to human evolution.

    One is an odd evolutionary species known by its commom name of homo-sapius teenage-gurlis and the other three sport the same appendage as RM2’s creature contributions.

    This mom is still wiping other people’s butts and at the same time plotting to ruin every day of her teenage daughter’s life (it is one of the few pleasures in life!)  RM1 is also the very proud owner of the stupidest canine on the planet earth and any other planet that harbors un-intelligent life as well as several other dysfunctional pets.

    RM1 may homeschool one kid and cloth diaper a few others but don’t get it twisted: there is a life outside of buttwiping.  Renegade Mom Uno is also an huge John Waters fan, mass consumer of Ben & Jerry’s (currently on a diet hiatus*sniff*) and proudly sports PJ’s everywhere and anywhere.

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    RM3

    RM3

    Renegade Mom 3 is a stay-at-home mother of two.

    She’s a strong supporter of traditional family values and will defend her beliefs to the death. A dentists wife who never wears white after labor day, RM3 is an avid recycler and church goer, so don’t fuck with her.

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